empty,,?

today i woke up and i realized that i feel empty,why do i feel empty?well blame it on "love" people,its the source of all misery!so i just blamed it on my x who i have no clue where his miserable ass is!!started talkin to my frnd,am miserable am sad am lonely...then he just said the weirdst thing ever he was like "its not always about relationships"
uh..its so simple,its so true but its a fact i dont want to realize..no lemme blame it on E dont lemme blame it on myself!!it's not him,it's me!!well it's me who drove him away to start with,i guess..It's jsut that my friends think they know me but they dont,i'm not always that happy you see i have my scarrs and they are prolly not that well-hidden..too many things bring out the dark side and mostly its red roses and "happy couples"!yea am not all that calm,i hate seeing people happy specially those who dont deserve to be happy!!u know those backstabbing friends of urs who lead such a sick life and get away with murder!no they dont deserve happiness hell they dont deserve to be alive how come they are happy n am here bitchin about it!!!well M i have u in mind and huny i'll keep prayin till u go down u bitch!!
Why am i feeling down...umm well
1.i hate the way i look..honestly i wish i was lik 10 cms shorter and a lot thinner,umm..i wish i had one of those long kinda curvy really exotic eyebrows,i dont mind my skin tone but the sun burns me pretty badly am as soft a peach!um my hair slimmed down a lot i wish it got thicker and i wish it was softer..i hate my smile,it looks so fake i wish it was a bit more..i duno jst cuter i guess!

2.i wish i can bring 2 people back from the dead,i wish i can send 2 other people to replace them tho!!

3.i wish i can have my bestfrnd live wid me instead of a bizillion miles away,actually not just D i wish SQ was here too..

4.i wish i knew D a long time ago n i wish i cud tell him tht he made a lot of things easier n tht i love our stupid lil jokes..and i wish i had like a paper or sthn where i can make him sign tht he'll never leave or so cz i jst have trouble believein tht he wont!cz am so "sweet" u c its hard to have me for a long time!umm and i wish he cared abut me half as much as he cared abut chicks and dating!lol some crazy bestfrnd i have

5.i wish i had a switch for my heart and mind.

6.i wish i cud tell E tht he's a bastard n let it out of my system thn make him apologize!

7.i wish JA and i had the my same religion cz i really think he is hot and i love talkin 2 him *sigh* and same religion cz i wana marry him!

8.i wish i were popular bck in hi-skool cz of me not my brother!

9.i wish i saved my 1st kiss for something real..

10.i wish i can grow up n live in a penthouse wid D,SQ,F ,KW & JA jst lik Friends widot havin the society witch-hunt us!

thats my wish list for now..i feel better =D haha i love making stupid wishes and thinkin how they would turn out!